It is not a surprise that our home, which had enough room to stretch our arms at one time, is now getting small. The original family of two has grown to a family of four, and while it is a blessing that we have one another and a space to call home, it seems to be getting smaller by the day.
My husband and I have plans upon plans about our next home. More room. More cabinets and closets. A porch. An open kitchen. A basement. A backyard. Two full bathrooms. One level. Two car garage. Near good schools and our jobs. Hardwood floors, and many other wants that feel like necessities when we live day to day.
I am thankful for this little space that we have embraced, that is cluttered wall to wall with toys, dust, and moments of love. The memories we are creating are unique to us, and they will be unknown to the family that lives here afterwards. My girls are sharing a room right now, which delays sleep because the room fills with whispers, songs, and the occasional frustration prolonging dreamland for at least an hour on a typical night. Toys make it difficult to walk from nightlight to door, and sneaking toys to give away past two little watchful pairs of eyes makes the task too difficult to attempt.
Our beds remain unmade most of the time, and I am lucky if I get a chance to sweep. The only part of the house that is cleaned daily is the kitchen and the laundry room in attempts to keep up. Books are piled in every nook and cranny due to an obsession that I can’t help but to feed for both myself and my daughters. Our spare room has become the catch all for outgrown clothes and things that are no longer needed.
The walls were painted with careful choice, but the colors are now outdated and drab. Pictures are up reflecting what fills our hearts, including snapshots of our children in random order and placement.
Our home is small. It is messy. It is cluttered. It might be outdated and worn out in some places. It needs a desperate cleaning and facelift, but it is our home for the present moment.
This is where we have our lazy days of pajamas and Mickey Mouse and chicken nuggets. This is where we delay getting out of bed with giggles and tickles and squeeze hugs. We pull the chalk out and color the fence and driveways, and we leave our coloring books out to revisit as many times as we can. We overlook the mess to take the time to live rather than sweat to try to keep up. We talk, we pray, we smile, and we sleep in this home, and it is an absolutely messy and chaotic picture of perfection when you ask those who live here. It won’t always be our home, and the memories we are making are once in a lifetime moments. I look forward to the new memories that will become new rituals and routines for us in the future in a new home that might allow us to stretch our arms again. But, for now, I’ll take the perfect mess that surrounds us.
One day the mess will be addressed but today we are just too busy being blessed.