Do you feel that? The weight of the world? Do you feel the force pushing against your shoulders, making it difficult to stand up? Do you feel the burden grow heavier with each hour that passes by? Do you feel the magnetic force that your body seems to exude pulling stress to you so rapidly and you can’t escape it?
Lately, the weight seems unbearable. Personally, I’ve been stuck in a world throughout this last year of learning a new job while continuing to try to fulfill the wife and mom and daughter and friend and sister roles that surround me. It’s overwhelming. It’s overwhelming when also trying to answer endless questions throughout the day and realizing that as soon as I check an item off of my to-do list, three more items are quickly added, professionally and personally. The weight gets even heavier when tragedies surface. Tragedies out of my control and unanticipated allow me to feel the weight all over again right at the time that I thought everything just became manageable.
Do you see that?
Even in the depths of despair and those moments of anxiety when the weight of world forces me to the ground, I can still see the good. I can look up and see the promise of a rainbow or I can see the light showing me that the sun will continue to shine despite the clouds that strain to hide it’s glory. Even with the weight of the burdens grinding against my bones, I can still see the smiles and the comfort of the people who have been placed in my life to lift me up. I can see the hands of the people who are offering their support to help me stand, even when the weight of stress overpowers me to the point that it’s hard to feel anything other than lost. People have been placed in my life to be that support system, extending their hand to me much like the hand that God extends after kneeling down to pray. Once the stress and the burdens and the heartache and the frustration are laid out and acknowledged, His hand is instantaneously extended. I can see His hand, and I can see His intention of pulling me through the storm to the other side of the struggle where the weight isn’t heavy anymore. Giving it to Him allows the weight to become weightless, and it allows me to see the reason for the rain which is to always make me more grateful and appreciative of the flowers that bloom because of it.
Do you hear that?
It’s Him. I hear Him through the loudness of the world. I can hear Him in spite of the social media and the reality television and the buzz of the texts and the music from the radio. I can hear Him despite all of the distractions that surround us, including the frustrations of the day. Everyday, He can be heard, because everyday He talks to me. I am His child. I am important to Him. When I cry, He hurts. When I stress, He watches closely. When I feel pressure, He stands beside me. When I fall down, He offers the hand and the strength for me to stand up again. His message and His purpose surround me everyday, and give me renewed purpose to look at the moments in my life. So much of my energy and my emotions and my efforts are placed into the negative and trying to make the bad better. So little of my energy is placed into appreciating the day or enjoying the opportunities to share His love or offering a smile in response to those who try to make my days better regardless of the people who frown. It is so hard to hear Him, and it is extremely difficult to be quieted in moments of desperation, especially when the world feels as if it is closing in.
The thing is, I want to be more spiritual. I want to feel His presence during my day. I want to invest time into His word in order to understand Him better. I want to feel, hear, and see God in the things I do and in the world that surrounds me. It is so easy to succumb to the world of selfishness, seeking ways to gratify my own needs or wants without considering the impact of those desires on other people. It is easy to think of how everything is happening to me and only me, and it’s easy to ignore the signs that are placed in my life on a daily basis. He tries to communicate with me in order to show me how to let Him live through me, but the light of the sun peeking through the clouds is easily overlooked when the clouds darken with the sky. The flowers that bloom are not considered when the rain is pouring down. But afterwards, it’s clear. It’s obvious. It’s inspiring, and it’s natural. It’s consistent. His light, His voice, His presence is consistent. I just need to look for him more intentionally and open my heart to the possibilities of what He can do for me, for my life, for my family, and for my future.
Lately, as I stated earlier, it has become extremely difficult through stress, through tragedy, through lack of communication, through never ending to-do lists, through social media bombardment to really feel, or see, or hear the purpose of my day, let alone my life. The big picture becomes distorted when the focus is placed on all of the tiny details. By the time my heads hits the pillow, my mind is still racing of the projects left undone and words left unsaid and moments unacknowledged…then I start to feel the weight all over again. I’m ready to look for His hand instead. I’m ready to listen for His voice. And I am ready to let Him help me stand instead of feeling as if I need to do it on my own. I am going to intentionally think of His purpose and my purpose, remembering that they are the same. That’s how the weight will disappear, and I am ready to feel weightless.