Did you see my post on Facebook about my dream? If you don’t follow me (which I have no idea why you are reading this if you don’t follow me on Facebook) or if you follow me and ignore my posts (which is also fine, since I often brainlessly skim through Facebook as well), I will catch you up.
“Dream interpretation anyone? I was at mom and dad’s house with my daughters. We were sitting on the couch when wood shavings were found piled up near my daughter’s foot. We looked toward the ceiling and noticed distinct holes and little bugs that we identified as termites. They were burrowing fiercely and when I stood up to investigate, I noticed they had eaten through the ceiling which allowed me to see the attic (which in reality they don’t have). In the attic I saw beautiful white furniture very neatly organized; it was very modern and chic. That was to the left. Then to the right, I saw plastic toddler furniture. Ok. Interpret away!”
Before I dive in, I want to add that the plastic toddler furniture was noticeably faded; it was an easel and a toddler bed. That part of the room was not well lit. To the right, the white, modern, crisp furniture also had a lamp with a silver, whimsical base. The lamp had a trendy shade and the light was on, making everything on that side of the room bright and easy to see. The legs on the nightstand holding the lamp also had silver legs. I also want to add that I have a fear of bugs (spiders mostly, but my fear does not discriminate). Therefore, the fact that I stood to investigate the situation was slightly unnerving in my dream, but I did it anyway out of curiosity.
Ok. I have not been able to let this dream go. So, I am going to blog about it so the rest of the world (or the two of you who read my blog) can feel my unrest over the struggle of figuring it all out.
I did a little research about different elements of the dream. No where on the world wide web did I find information from anyone who had the exact same dream, so I am melding together the different aspects to try to figure it all out…and I think I got it! 🙂
1. Mom and Dad’s House: This is a place of security. This place never changes, and I know I can always come and go to this refuge without question to find food, hugs, laughter, warmth, understanding, or anything else that my soul is looking for. I have no doubt that in this dream, my parent’s home represents security for me. We were involved in a typical routine of sitting on the couch watching television, and we were lounging with my girls nearby. Everything screams security.
2. Wood-shavings: I remember focusing on my girls in the dream and barely noticing the shavings at first. I feel that I wouldn’t have noticed them at all if it weren’t for the fact that the shavings were near my daughter’s foot. It caught my attention and it caught my mom’s attention, and after that point, my daughters melted away from the dream. In my opinion (professionally provided by mentally pouring over this dream), the wood shavings represent life’s distractions. Life’s distractions pulled my eye and my mom’s eye away from the things that should hold our attention (our family). My mom is an excellent mother (and I’m not just saying that because she’s one of the two who read this blog). She gives and gives until she’s worn out, and then she gives some more. I feel I have taken on a bit of that role. I am not perfect, and I know I need to give more, but I also know that I take pride in my girls and this momjob that I’ve been blessed with. However… (mom, go ahead and skip to number 3) it’s true that a lot of the times we (my mom and I or all moms in general) put a lot of emphasis on things that just don’t matter. Having the cutest tights, having the cleanest base boards (really hope you skipped to number three, mom), checking out the perfect book from the library (for the kids, because who has time to read), folding the underwear to neatly fit in the corner of the drawer…or wood shavings that collect in corners of your dreams. In this dream, the wood shaving’s represent life’s distractions and how energy placed into those distractions can pull me away from what I want to be at the center.
3. Termites: Ok, I researched this one, and I found myself saying “Well, duh” in my very mature mind. I don’t like bugs in general, so any bug is not okay. Just, ew. And to dream about them brings a new level of ew. Sources say (don’t ask which ones, it was in the middle of an early morning search engine effort) bugs hold specific meaning, and the type of bug you dream about reflects something very specific. I’m sure you get where this is going. I did not waste time exploring the different bugs and what each bug represents (because, again, bugs are gross). But, on multiple sites, it was stated that termites represent a level of deterioration. Duh, right? It could mean something is eating away at you or at some element of your life. It could mean that something is weakening an element of your life. So, in my mind, it makes sense to consider what the termites were attacking, and in my dream, the termites were wreaking havoc on my parent’s home. Again, my mom and dad’s home present this level of security that I can always find, despite whatever struggle is surrounding me. Therefore, the termites were weakening my foundation of security. At first, there were only a few holes that were noticeable. As I stood to explore the holes, the level of destruction was extreme, to the point where I could see a different level of the house very clearly…
4. Attic: After researching information about attics, it seems clear that attics typically refer to information from or about the past. It could be meaning, emotion, events, or patterns over time. In my dream, I remember thinking “…but mom and dad don’t have an attic”, which I quickly disregarded to continue the exploration. However, given my conscious and my subconscious, it seems as if the attic is meant to represent patterns of behavior for myself. To put it in context, certain patterns of behavior, or emotions associated with these patterns, often weaken or eat away at my level of security. I also think that realizing the attic in my dream is my psyche’s way of showing me that my consciousness is not allowing me see the full picture during the day. Again, life’s distractions get in the way, and so much emphasis is placed into these distractions that it’s difficult to see what lies on the other side. Subconsciously, I was able to break through that fear (bugs) or inability (the attic doesn’t exist) in order to explore what’s on the other side (what’s in the attic). It could also represent that the patterns of behavior that are weakening my level of security are also impacting my ability to access a different room or an outcome that could be potentially rewarding.
5. White, modern, chic furniture: I noticed this first. It was to my left, and the furniture was tasteful, indicative of a young woman’s trendy decorative taste. I was impressed by this furniture, and the lamp on the nightstand made everything easy to see. All of this furniture was housed specifically in the left side of the attic, but in a very organized, spatially appropriate way. Someone could’ve lived there. This furniture represents perception. It represents the perception I want others to have of me and the life I am living. It was bright and well lit, which means that’s the part of my life that I want others see. The perception piece represents a large distraction of my life because I am often so preoccupied with the opinions of others that I find myself not living or loving the moment I’m in which, as a mother, is incredibly frustrating. My child is crying, my child has a runny nose and no jacket, my child is yelling, my child is talking back, my child is not saying thank you…and as a mother, you are constantly in “fix it” mode, to the point that it is difficult to relish these tiny moments that I will never get to relive. The struggle is to convince everyone that you have it together, despite what it looks like on the outside. You smile, you wave, you correct, you fidget with wet wipes, you explain…you do everything you can to “fix it” in order to continue the perception of “I’ve got it altogether”. That side of the attic was complete and properly placed and neat and orderly…everything that my life is not.
6. Faded, plastic toddler furniture: This was stored on the right side of the attic, completely separate from the modern, white furniture (and reasonably so). I want others to perceive me as having it together, but do I? Nope. I have faded, plastic furniture. Furniture to fit a toddler. That’s what my life is right now; it’s built for a toddler. I know that’s okay, and that is what I am embracing. I remember thinking in the dream “Why didn’t mom and dad tell me they had this?” Ha. Therefore, I know I am fully embracing this role and this stage. The only issue is it’s faded; sometimes, there are some struggles no one tells you about with raising children. Sometimes the furniture is faded, but it doesn’t mean that it won’t be used. Another noticeable point is that this part of the room is dim. I don’t want others to see what’s faded. I don’t want others to know I shop at Once Upon A Child or open my arms to hand me downs with giddy pleasure. I am purposefully keeping this part of my life dim, and my God, I have no idea why. Perhaps it’s the keeping up with the Jones’ mentality, but what a phenomenal part of my life that I purposefully decided not to showcase. How deflating…
7. Directional cues: I have no idea what having some furniture on the left versus some furniture on the right means. Left and right holding specific meaning is unclear to me, and I am open to suggestions. However, it is hard to ignore that the very distinct furniture was stored in completely separate parts of the attic. This reflects the idea that it is extremely difficult for me merge the two worlds of reality and others perception of my reality. I know this is a huge struggle for me, and it always has been (probably always will be). But this dream is communicating to my conscious “Hey, give it up. Find a happy median. Move on. Not everyone’s gonna like what you do, but as along as you are happy with it, you’re golden”. Goodness, it’s hard. Professionally, personally, spiritually, it’s hard. It’s hard to ignore the looks, the raised eyebrows, the silent responses, the questions, the challenges, the opinions that tsunami in to my consciousness. I have always struggled with validating my actions against what others think, and, apparently, my psyche is tired of it too. I am striving for the white furniture, the perception of having it “together”, but in reality, it’s together, just a little faded and used. My reality isn’t as crisp and desirable as I want others to think, but it’s so me, and it’s perfect in it’s own dilapidated way.
And then I woke up.
And I have been pouring over this dream in order to find meaning. Dreams have always interested me, and I know I don’t have it all right, but it sounds pretty good, right? There are a lot of things I am unsure about, but I do think that dreams are the mind’s eye into our character. It is our soul’s way of communicating with the conscious part of ourselves in order to give insight about our life, our person, our relationships, our emotions, or whatever part of our life that needs clarity.
So odd, but so spot on. I almost can’t wait to go to sleep again to see what my psyche wants to say!